Monday, May 26, 2008

Movie Reviews: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull


Lets see...Harrison Ford...Check. Speilberg...Check. Action...Check. Mythical story...Check. Me "stepping out of the box to believe in whatever Indy is searching for"....Check.

*******WARNING!!! SPOILERS REGARDING THE STORYLINE TO FOLLOW***************

I don't get it. I truly don't understand how anyone could be giving this movie bad reviews. IMO, this is the most realistic plot in the whole Indy franchise. First, you have to escape from your inability to understand that there is no way that we are alone in the universe. That being said, it would make sense that aliens had a hand in shaping the cultures of the Mayans, Egyptians, etc. They worshipped gods who looked like aliens, for fucks sake. I won't even get into their architecture. Second, understand that this is an Indiana Jones movie. All of the artifacts he "unearths" are mythical and paranormal in nature. Yes, our hero can do some pretty amazing stunts that NO ONE ELSE can do. Now tell me how this one was different.

The one thing that pisses me off about movie critics is that in all of their critiqing, sometimes they can miss the true experience of the theater--one of giving way to the imagination. They forget that a motion picture is supposed to entertain, act as a form of escapism, and make us believe for up to 2 hours that our heroes CAN perform these unbelieveable feats because their name is Superman, Luke Skywalker, or Indiana Jones. I am truly done listening to these buffoons. A true "bad" movie is one with no plot, acting, etc. This film worked just fine.



The acting was on par with the rest of the Dr. Jones franchise, as was the action. The special effects played a larger role--of course--as it is in all films these days(No real surprise here---sorry it blew most of the critics away).

I don't want to ever give too much of the plot away, so I will end here: Go see this movie! Its Indiana Jones man. The SAME Indiana Jones we grew up with.


The Captain's Rating: 7.9) Wooooooo

Saturday, May 24, 2008

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button




The international trailer dubbed in spanish. This is the story of a man who ages backwards--born old and dies a baby. Stars Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett, directed by David Fincher. I'm looking forward to this one!

click me

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Space Mountain: My Daddy Shoulda' Gave Me a Spankin' Like That a Long Time Ago

The Black Crowes to Play in Fayetteville



Classic Rock icons, The Black Crowes, are scheduled to play the AMP theatre in Fayetteville, AR on August 14. The newly reformed band--with new guitarist Luther Dickinson of The North Mississippi Allstars--are fresh off releasing their newest album Warpaint. I, for one, have partied with Luther and he is an interesting guy. Being a long time Crowes fan, as well as an Allstars fan, I am excited with the merger. The album revisits their blues roots, with Luther adding the dirty mississippi blues that I love. This will make for a treacherous couple of weekends, as I am slated to head to Colorado the next week for Widespread Panic. Good thing there is enough time to prepare.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

The Wedding of Dick Swisher and Other Relevant Adventures: Wine and Cheese, Crawfish and Beer

Wedding season is upon us and I have been fortunate enough to be a part of two this year. My sister exchanges vows this weekend in lovely Rogers, Arkansas, a town known for its staunch smell of formaldehyde and as home to a laundry list of young ladies I would never want to run into again. It should make for a good time though, with old friends coming in and hopefully some new ones to be made—if you catch my drift. There’s nothing as inspiring as the sight of a bridesmaid on one of her friends’ wedding day. They start to get a wanton sense of “love-at-first-sight-itis”. It makes for an interesting hunt and on this occasion, I will be fully armed. Bridesmaids are in season and I will try my best to get my limit.



Meanwhile, my long-time comrade—the incomparable Dick Swisher—is set to tie the knot this summer. The festivities kicked off this weekend, with a crawfish cookout and a wine and cheese party. There was no doubt that my loyalties would surely lie with the wine, as cheese sometimes makes for difficult morning hours in my case. We started a little early, as usual, with the first can being popped around noon-ish. The crawfish came and went, making for a sweet concoction on top of my trusty Bud Light. By the time the night party came—I had become a walking bottle of booze. I had a neatly groomed handlebar mustache and wore my jeans—a true man about town—if you will. The pictures, which will be added soon, will most definitely add to my folly. I am proud of his choice of companionship. She is a girl that I can hang out with, as well as one that no doubt puts up with Dick’s unruly Kaufmanesque mood swings. I fear she has no idea what she is getting herself into. It is going to be interesting, as Dick is no doubt a man set in his frightening ways.

I am in charge of the Bachelor party—a surefire mistake in my book—with all hell set to break loose real soon. A bachelor party, you see, is a place where a bizarre being like myself can show his true colors. It is a testament to the man that I am and I will probably always be. My first thought was to call the “ladies of the night” I met at a previous engagement similar to this one. She gave me her number probably with the insight that I was the most likely “John” in the room. Women are one of my most violent vices and I love them in all forms. I am an "Equal Opportunity Employer" and do not discriminate based on age, size, shape, and color. One will most certainly—in some form or fashion—be THE death of me. Not old age, smoking, drugs, drinking—which by the way are all cause and effect related to women. I digress. My first thought was this followed closely by the one that said, “None of these poor bastards are going to get involved in any form of debauchery that I set up.” Therefore, we will probably visit one of our fair neighboring cities, listen to some live music and walk as close to the edge of drunkenness as we can without going jumping completely off. I am very much looking forward to it.

Coming Soon: The Wedding of Dick Swisher and Other Relevant Adventures II: Bachelor Party

Movie Reviews: Iron Man


Yeah sure, everyone was excited when Spiderman came out--I just wasn't overly impressed with Sam Raimi's take on it. This is not the case in Jon Favreau's Iron Man. It was different in the aspect that this hero is tremendously flawed. He is an alcoholic, whore-hound who enjoys the limelight. One of the biggest comebacks ever--Robert Downey, Jr. He totally owned the role of the boozing, womanizing Tony Stark. I am a comic book fanboy from wayback and I must say this is one of the best big screen adaptations yet. It has everything you would want in a summer blockbuster--action, AWESOME special effects, and a damn good story to boot. This is going to be the beginning of big things from Marvel Studios, and if you stick around after the credits you'll see why. Don't want to give that away, but after the weekend that the film had, Marvel has announced today that Captain America (not my nom de plume)is in the works--with Matthew McConaughey as the lead--as well as a big screen adaptation of Thor. The big one i've been talking about ties all of them together. The one negative aspect of the film as far as I could see was Gweneth Paltrow's performance. I usually like her, but she just didn't do IT for me in this one. Look for the sequel to debut summer 2010. Go see this movie! May change the genre.

Captain's Rating: Iron Man: 8.1) Woooooooo

Friday, May 2, 2008

I'm Thinkin' Bout Makin' New York MY Backyard Too

One more Nature Boy clip for good measure. Ladies beware.

Everywhere I Go I'm in Constant Demand




Meet my alter-ego. I like this side of my personality.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Widespread Panic Summer Tour 2008


Jun. 15, 2008 Manchester, TN
Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival ON SALE NOW


Jun. 20, 2008 Los Angeles, CA
Orpheum Theatre Pre-sale TBA



Jun. 21, 2008 Los Angeles, CA
Orpheum Theatre Pre-sale TBA


Jun. 22, 2008 Los Angeles, CA
Orpheum Theatre Pre-sale TBA

Jun. 24, 2008 San Diego, CA
Civic Theatre Pre-sale TBA


Jun. 25, 2008 Flagstaff, AZ
Pine Mountain Amphitheater Pre-sale begins 5/6 @ 10am EST and ends 5/8


Jun. 27, 2008 Morrison, CO
Red Rocks Amphitheatre Pre-sale TBA

Jun. 28, 2008 Morrison, CO
Red Rocks Amphitheatre Pre-sale TBA


Jun. 29, 2008 Morrison, CO
Red Rocks Amphitheatre Pre-sale TBA


Jul. 01, 2008 Kansas City, MO
Uptown Theater Pre-sale begins 5/6 @ 10am EST and ends 5/8

Jul. 02, 2008 Kansas City, MO
Uptown Theater Pre-sale begins 5/6 @ 10am EST and ends 5/8


Jul. 04, 2008 Rothbury, MI
Rothbury Festival ON SALE NOW

Jul. 05, 2008 Toronto, ON - Canada
Sound Academy Pre-sale TBA


Jul. 06, 2008 Ottawa, ON - Canada
Ottawa Bluesfest ON SALE NOW

Jul. 08, 2008 Rochester, NY
Main Street Armory Pre-sale TBA


Jul. 10, 2008 Boston, MA
Bank of America Pavilion Pre-sale TBA


Jul. 11, 2008 Philadelphia, PA
Festival Pier @ Penn's Landing Pre-sale TBA


Jul. 12, 2008 Masontown, WV
All Good Festival ON SALE NOW

Jul. 14, 2008 Knoxville, TN
Tennessee Theatre Pre-sale will begin 5/6 @ 10am EST and end on 5/8


Jul. 15, 2008 Knoxville, TN
Tennessee Theatre Pre-sale will begin 5/6 @ 10am EST and end on 5/8

Jul. 18, 2008 Cleveland, OH
Plain Dealer Pavilion Pre-sale TBA

Jul. 19, 2008 Portsmouth, VA
Ntelos Wireless Pavilion Pre-sale TBA


Jul. 25, 2008 Charlotte, NC
Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre Pre-sale TBA

Jul. 26, 2008 Charlotte, NC
Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre Pre-sale TBA


AUGUST 2008
Aug 2008 - Aug 2008 (2 dates)


Aug. 24, 2008 San Fancisco, CA
Outside Lands Music Festival Tickets ON SALE NOW at Widespread Tickets or Outside Lands Music Festival

Aug. 28, 2008 to Aug. 30, 2008 Snowmass Village, CO
Jazz Aspen Snowmass Labor Day Festival

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Fear and the Bubble: A Lesson Before Graduating


In the Hugo Award winning novel Spin, by Robert Charles Wilson, Earth is encircled by a strange, alien bubble—a fact that is known by only three young kids. The bubble slows down time for whatever is on the inside, while on the outside time is passing by at a rapid pace. The novel follows each of the kids through their lives—knowing of earth's impending doom—and the different paths they take. I reflect upon this concurrently with my own life. My bubble has been on me since the age of 20, meanwhile the rest of the world has been spinning and moving forward. All of my friends are married, have good jobs and are content with life, while my life in the bubble has been frozen, a snapshot of what once was. It is fast approaching the time for me to come out of the bubble and I don't even know what is out there anymore. I truly don't know what my purpose is supposed to be or what I'm supposed to do. I just know that I must break free of this self-constructed prison and seek whatever it is that's out there.

To say that I fear exiting my bubble is an understatement—I dread it now more than ever. I would say it is a pure and utter darkness, a feeling that is all too familiar to me. To understand the darkness fully, you would have to have been there before. One could find it deep within the bowels of drug addiction. Let it be known that the life of a junkie could be best compared to that of a vampire—we fear the sun, only coming out to prey on the helpless and feed our unbridled hunger and lust—truly the Devil's work. Although the darkness I speak of is far worse than that I feel now, it is similar. Waking up one day to find that you are all alone in the world is scary. Women coming and going, all now just fleeting moments. Friends going to social events where you wouldn't "fit in". Just you and the darkness. Not to say that I don't have great friends, because I do. They are just at different places in their lives while I'm struggling to catch up. I've brought a lot of this upon myself—mind you—for my life inside the bubble has been one of selfishness and immaturity. I also understand that I am a strange sort, a fact that no doubt adds to my isolation. I can't change that or stop what I am. It is too late. Maybe I am doomed to face the world this way. If so, and even though I fear it, I accept the challenge. It makes for another fucking adventure if nothing else.

College life was great. Hell, for me, it lasted 10 long years. I've had many great experiences, too many to reflect on here. Some of them—admittedly—I've forgotten. I have no regrets about the ones I remember, each one of them contributing to the person I have become, as weird as he may be. I've met many great people and hope to someday cross paths with them again; this time, on the outside of the bubble with an understanding of the beauty that is life.

To the young people of my graduating class, I want to impart some words of wisdom—what little I may have and as cliché as they may be—to all of you that I have come to know: Love as much and as many times as possible, whether brief or long. Each relationship you have is for a reason. They help you grow and show you what is inside of you. If you can't love, then you can't be helped, my friends. When you do find the one person to be with you forever, love them as tenaciously as you can; without fear of rejection or reciprocated feelings. If they are that person, then you won't even have to worry about the latter part. They say you will just know. Make babies and be there every minute you can.

Work at a place that makes you happy. Don't trade happiness for padded pocket books. Have as many friends as possible and treat them with respect. Remember the good times, but work towards the future. Unless you believe in reincarnation, there is only one life. Don't let the world fly by you like I have. Live on the outside of the bubble and pass with the times. Live goddammit!

As for me, my demons--loneliness and fear--still haunt me. In any event, I will run from them at full speed with my eyes wide open, like I do everything else--towards an unknown angel, wherever she may be.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Panic Does Bonnaroo?


My thoughts were that they were taking my advice and not doing this festival anymore. No showers, three mile walks in flip-flops, and limited shade (one tree in the whole damned place) have done me in when it comes to Manchester's biggest event. It looks ok, but i'd rather spend my time these days indoor, or at least with a little shade.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Infinite Wizdem

A letter from the Captain to me. The return address was Laredo, Texas.



January 6, 2008



Dear Zach,

With my dreams of becoming a professional wrestler looking bleak, I have decided to rejoin my ongoing tour of Arkansas' facilities of higher learning. "The Natural State" has proven to be a hotbed of sorts for these establishments and I have seen them all. A university is like a dirty whore--they take all your money and that is basically the only time they will talk to you. When they aren't turning tricks, they send you on a virtual phone humping of the campus, pimping you out to every department before you are transferred back to the second person you talked to. Patience has never been my friend, however, that happened to be the very name of the lady who finally helped me. So, I have nineteen hours left to go on a degree that I need desperately. Times they are a changin', and so goes the days of drinking beer without a care in the world. From now on beer will be drank because it will be a necessity. A bad day a work could spawn the itch, as could a stupid boss. I can't really tolerate stupidity in a boss, especially since he/she is the one who is supposed to give YOU the orders. I have found this to be the case in 99% of the workplace. Mind you I have never been one to follow authority very well, but can't one of them be smarter than me for fuck's sake? Idiots. I WILL be my own boss. I advise you do the same. Other than that everything is dandy. I will be spending a lot of time at the Village again, which will no doubt make for interesting correspondance. The Village. If you see Swisher tell him to stay the hell away from me. I don't need that bastard sticking his nose into my business while i'm trying to get some real work done. You know he called over Christmas and tried to get me to partake in Operation: Jesey Babus III. Can you believe that? I tell you he's gone mad! A regular freak--one of God's cruel jokes. I'll send word when I land at Peach Fuzz University.


J.R. Fliehr (Captain America)